How was your day? Asking the right questions

As educators -- yes, you included -- we ask lots of questions. We have certain expectations for those answers, but the end results from our children are not always what we want.

If you're like me, every afternoon I asked my children about school. Does this conversation sound familiar?

Me:  "How was school?"
My children: "Fine." 
Me: "What did you learn today?"
My children: "Nothing."

Formulating the right question is just as important as the answers we expect.  Details!

Believe it or not, teachers put effort into the questions we ask, because we expect effort in the answer.
We don't always want a yes or no or a one word answer. We're looking for evidence, which can come in the form of a compound sentence; we're looking for the how or the why to elicit the most from your child. It also gives us an indication of what they understand.

So back to my daily questions to my children. I quickly learned that my children were not detailed oriented when it came to this afternoon conversation, and that was my fault. I didn't set the expectation, because my questions didn't demand a detailed answers. So, I quit asking how was school and started asking for specifics. Sometimes I don't even ask questions.

I admit, it was a rough start, but I set the expectation that I wanted details. I was relentless. Sometimes I even expected them to show me.

So here's our new conversation:

Me: "What are you studying in AP Chem?"
My daughter: "We're learning stoichiometry."
Me: "Wow! What the heck is that?"
My daughter: (don't ask me to repeat what she said! It's way over my head).
Me: "Fascinating. Show me what you're working on in math."
My daughter: (again, don't ask me, but I was glad to see she knew what she was talking about)


So next time you want to know how your child's day was or what they are learning, formulate the right question or statements.

Here are some examples:

Tell me one fact your learned today in history.
Show me what you're learning in math.
What story/novel are you reading in reading? What is it about?  Who is the main character?
If you had to pick one lesson or answer to do over today, what would it be? Why?
What was the most exciting thing you learned today? (or boring - sometimes they want to vent)
Rate your science class on a scale of 1 -10? Why?

Good luck. I know parenting is hard and time-consuming, but your child deserves to have these questions asked...and your deserve the answers.